How to create a secure attachment with an adopted child

Expert Adoption & Family Therapist, Jeanette Yoffe, shares advice on how to create secure attachments with adopted children as well as a helpful, easy to remember acronym that will help parents from a strong attachment with their adopted child.
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How to create a secure attachment with an adopted child

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Transcription: 
Four things that an adoptive parent can do in order to create a secure attachment with their child is the four attitudes that I've pulled from attachment focus parenting which is PACE yourself. PACE is an acronym for P = be playful with you child. Always understand that being playful will create that safety in the environment and also release that brain chemical, oxytocin, which creates bonding. A is be accepting of your child completely. You don't have to agree with their behavior but accept that they have a right to their feelings and their thought processes and they have their own mind. So, accept them completely regardless of the behavior. C is have an attitude of curiosity. Even if you're noticing something alarming, be curious about it . Curiosity creates an openness in communication and safety which is imperative to build trust with children who have attachment issues. E is have empathy. Always have empathy for your child's process. They are struggling on a daily basis. They are doing the best that they can. So, have empathy even if they made poor choices, "I'm so sorry you made this choice. I love you and I'm sorry you made this choice." But recognize that they need that empathy because that will also help them work through their shame.

Expert Adoption & Family Therapist, Jeanette Yoffe, shares advice on how to create secure attachments with adopted children as well as a helpful, easy to remember acronym that will help parents from a strong attachment with their adopted child.

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Jeanette Yoffe, MA, MFT

Adoption & Family Therapist

Jeanette Yoffe earned her master's degree in Clinical Psychology, specializing in children, from Antioch University. She treats children with serious psychological problems secondary to histories of abuse, neglect, and or multiple placements. Jeanette's desire to become a child therapist with a special focus on adopted and foster care issues derived from her own experience of being adopted and moving through the foster care system. She runs a monthly support group called Adopt Salon for all members of the adoption triad in Los Angeles.

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Transcription: 
Four things that an adoptive parent can do in order to create a secure attachment with their child is the four attitudes that I've pulled from attachment focus parenting which is PACE yourself. PACE is an acronym for P = be playful with you child. Always understand that being playful will create that safety in the environment and also release that brain chemical, oxytocin, which creates bonding. A is be accepting of your child completely. You don't have to agree with their behavior but accept that they have a right to their feelings and their thought processes and they have their own mind. So, accept them completely regardless of the behavior. C is have an attitude of curiosity. Even if you're noticing something alarming, be curious about it . Curiosity creates an openness in communication and safety which is imperative to build trust with children who have attachment issues. E is have empathy. Always have empathy for your child's process. They are struggling on a daily basis. They are doing the best that they can. So, have empathy even if they made poor choices, "I'm so sorry you made this choice. I love you and I'm sorry you made this choice." But recognize that they need that empathy because that will also help them work through their shame.