Talking to teens about sex

Amy Lang, MA Sex Education Expert, shares advice for parents on the best methods for talking about sex with your teenage child in a way that they will feel comfortable and open
How to Talk to Your Teenager About Sex
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Talking to teens about sex

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One of the best ways to start a conversation with a teen about sex is to actually ask them somebody else's sex life. This can be their friends. You can say, "Hey, do you know anybody that is sexually active?" See what they say. You want to let your kids know that you are interested, but not super pushy; especially if you have not been talking to them about sexuality for years since early childhood. Teens are very curious about dating and relationships. They also need to know how everything works. You must remember what it was like when you were a teenager, like you had a crazy crush on somebody, and you didn't understand why they didn't crush back. Navigating the boyfriend/girlfriend world. You can start talking to them about dating and relationships, and drop in information about sex and sexuality as you go along. There are great books for teenagers. There are wonderful websites where they can get lots of good information that's not going to mess with your values, or theirs. I recommend that you apologize if you haven't started talking to your teenager. You can say, "I'm sorry we haven't been talking about this sooner, but it is so important to your health and welfare, we are going to push through and start talking about it."

Amy Lang, MA Sex Education Expert, shares advice for parents on the best methods for talking about sex with your teenage child in a way that they will feel comfortable and open

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Amy Lang, MA

Sex Education Expert

Despite her 16 years of experience as a sexual health educator, Amy Lang found herself completely tongue-tied when her four year old son had "something very important" to tell her about his penis. Shocked by her discomfort, she realized if she was struggling, other parents must be too. Amy also holds an MA in Applied Behavioral Science and her focus was in adult education and group facilitation. She decided to combine her love of sex talking and her love of working with adults and started Birds + Bees + Kids in 2006.

Amy is a three time Mom’s Choice Award winner for her book, Birds + Bees + YOUR Kids - A Guide To Sharing Your Beliefs About Sexuality, Love and Relationships and DVD, Birds + Bees + Kids - The Basics. She is also the author of the book, Say What?! The Birds + Bees for Progressive Parents - What to Say and How to Say It!

She has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Seattle Magazine, Parent Map magazine and has contributed to a gazillion other publications. Sex advice guru Dan Savage says “Amy is a parent’s best friend-with-benefits when it comes to talking to kids about sex.” 

Though Birds + Bees + Kids, Amy helps parents of all beliefs have easy, open and effective conversations about sexuality, love and relationships with their kids. She offers talks, workshops, one-on-one consultations and live webcasts. Amy is also the co-founder of MamaCON - Inspiration and Tools for Modern Moms, a conference supporting the hard work of moms everywhere.

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Transcription: 
One of the best ways to start a conversation with a teen about sex is to actually ask them somebody else's sex life. This can be their friends. You can say, "Hey, do you know anybody that is sexually active?" See what they say. You want to let your kids know that you are interested, but not super pushy; especially if you have not been talking to them about sexuality for years since early childhood. Teens are very curious about dating and relationships. They also need to know how everything works. You must remember what it was like when you were a teenager, like you had a crazy crush on somebody, and you didn't understand why they didn't crush back. Navigating the boyfriend/girlfriend world. You can start talking to them about dating and relationships, and drop in information about sex and sexuality as you go along. There are great books for teenagers. There are wonderful websites where they can get lots of good information that's not going to mess with your values, or theirs. I recommend that you apologize if you haven't started talking to your teenager. You can say, "I'm sorry we haven't been talking about this sooner, but it is so important to your health and welfare, we are going to push through and start talking about it."