How boys can deal with aggressive girls

Dr. John Gray details ways that boys can say no to unwanted advances from girls
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How boys can deal with aggressive girls

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One of the biggest challenges today with girls going through puberty much sooner is they tend to be more sexually aggressive. And boys are like what´s going on here. These girls are wanting to get close to me. They are sending me pictures or sexting. These naked pictures, it is arousing to the boy but he just doesn´t know what he is confused by. He doesn´t have the same interest and drive she has for a relationship and for intimacy. So how do we help our sons say no to girls´advances, which is a whole new skill. I certainly didn´t have to learn that. I had to make the advances when I was a young guy. But now the girls are developing sooner. They are coming after the girls, and the same high estrogen levels that are causing girls to go through puberty faster are causing boys to go through it slower. There are some boys that are actually taking until what would normally happen at 12 or 13 is happening at 15 and 16. So this is happening depending upon the diet. The diet has lots of pesticides which are known as xenoestrogens. It functions as a super estrogen that causes girls to go through puberty sooner, causes boys to suppress testosterone development. So you get this big gulf. So girls are much more sexually mature, pursuing boys. We need to give boys an understanding of this, but we can also just give boys the words to use, which is I would really like to be your friend, but I am not interested in being romantic with you. Simple as that. I would really like to be your friend, but I am not interested in being romantic with you. I am not interested in that kind of a relationship. I would like to be your friend. It is kind of like what we used to teach our daughters to say to guys who are being sexually aggressive is I would really like to be your friend, but I am not interested in that way. What I say to young women and grown up women to turn a man off is just to say I look at you like you are my brother or my good friend but I don´t have those kind of feelings for you. He can do the same thing. I really like you as a friend but you are like my sister, and that will generally push her away.

Dr. John Gray details ways that boys can say no to unwanted advances from girls

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John Gray, PhD

Best-Selling Author

John Gray is the leading relationship expert in the world. His relationship and health books have sold over 50 million copies in 50 different languages. His groundbreaking book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, is the best-selling non-fiction book of all time.

John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness and romance. His many books, videos, workshops and seminars provide practical insights to effectively manage stress and improve relationships at all stages of life and love.

John also travels the world teaching communities and companies the best ways to improve their relationships and communication. He has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show many times as well as The Dr. Oz Show, The Today Show, CBS Morning Show, Good Morning America, The Early Show, The View, and many others. He has been profiled in Time, Forbes, USA Today and People.

John Gray lives in Northern California with his wife of 29 years, Bonnie. They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. He is an avid follower of his own health and relationship advice.

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Transcription: 
One of the biggest challenges today with girls going through puberty much sooner is they tend to be more sexually aggressive. And boys are like what´s going on here. These girls are wanting to get close to me. They are sending me pictures or sexting. These naked pictures, it is arousing to the boy but he just doesn´t know what he is confused by. He doesn´t have the same interest and drive she has for a relationship and for intimacy. So how do we help our sons say no to girls´advances, which is a whole new skill. I certainly didn´t have to learn that. I had to make the advances when I was a young guy. But now the girls are developing sooner. They are coming after the girls, and the same high estrogen levels that are causing girls to go through puberty faster are causing boys to go through it slower. There are some boys that are actually taking until what would normally happen at 12 or 13 is happening at 15 and 16. So this is happening depending upon the diet. The diet has lots of pesticides which are known as xenoestrogens. It functions as a super estrogen that causes girls to go through puberty sooner, causes boys to suppress testosterone development. So you get this big gulf. So girls are much more sexually mature, pursuing boys. We need to give boys an understanding of this, but we can also just give boys the words to use, which is I would really like to be your friend, but I am not interested in being romantic with you. Simple as that. I would really like to be your friend, but I am not interested in being romantic with you. I am not interested in that kind of a relationship. I would like to be your friend. It is kind of like what we used to teach our daughters to say to guys who are being sexually aggressive is I would really like to be your friend, but I am not interested in that way. What I say to young women and grown up women to turn a man off is just to say I look at you like you are my brother or my good friend but I don´t have those kind of feelings for you. He can do the same thing. I really like you as a friend but you are like my sister, and that will generally push her away.