Being sexual in second life

Sex addiction specialist Kenneth M. Adams, PhD discusses how being sexual in virtual reality systems can affect a person emotionally and in their real-life relationships
Being sexual in second life or virtual reality systems
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Being sexual in second life

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So one of the new and not so new anymore internet technology opportunities for people to be sexual is these sites called second life or things like that. Well, you can literally go into the website and participate with somebody else and create a character who represents you and someone else who's creating characters. And you can be involved in a fettish resort or a swingers resort and you can begin to participate with romantic and sexual relationships in a sort of what feels like a real time way and people say I'm having a relationship, but their reality really is a casualty here. These are still fantasy relationships, but the problem is, is the brain does not the distinction. The brain says I'm having an attachment. My brain is getting erotically romantically attached to the person tat I am interacting with on second life. And so all of a sudden now, my needs around romance and attachment are highly ritualized, highly specific making it very difficult for me to navigate a real relationship. There is nothing real about having a relationship with somebody through the technology. Now, that isn't to say that there aren't ways that people connect, but when we see somebody lost in that, they lose the ability to have real relationships.

Sex addiction specialist Kenneth M. Adams, PhD discusses how being sexual in virtual reality systems can affect a person emotionally and in their real-life relationships

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Kenneth M. Adams, PhD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Kenneth M. Adams, Ph.D., CSAT, is a Licensed Psychologist, the Clinical Director and Founder of Kenneth M. Adams and Associates in suburban Detroit, Michigan, as well as a faculty member at the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals. As previous Clinical Director for the Life Healing Center in Sante Fe, New Mexico, a residential treatment center for trauma and addiction, Dr Adams created the first inpatient program exclusively for partners of sex addicts. In addition to maintaining an active clinical practice, Dr. Adams is a national lecturer, workshop leader, and consultant in the areas of child abuse, dysfunctional family systems, and sex addiction. He is the author of numerous peer-reviewed publications, the books Silently Seduced and When He’s Married to Mom, as well as co-editor of Clinical Management of Sex Addiction. In 2011, Dr Adams received the “Carnes Award” for “outstanding work in the field of sexual addiction and compulsivity”. He is a certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT), a CSAT supervisor, and CSAT training facilitator as well as an Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) practitioner. Dr. Adams is a member of the American Psychological Association, Michigan Psychological Association, Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH), and International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP) as well as an advisory board member to SASH and IITAP, and an editorial board member of Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity: The Journal of Treatment and Prevention. For more on Dr Adams visit www.drkenadams.com.

 

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Transcription: 
So one of the new and not so new anymore internet technology opportunities for people to be sexual is these sites called second life or things like that. Well, you can literally go into the website and participate with somebody else and create a character who represents you and someone else who's creating characters. And you can be involved in a fettish resort or a swingers resort and you can begin to participate with romantic and sexual relationships in a sort of what feels like a real time way and people say I'm having a relationship, but their reality really is a casualty here. These are still fantasy relationships, but the problem is, is the brain does not the distinction. The brain says I'm having an attachment. My brain is getting erotically romantically attached to the person tat I am interacting with on second life. And so all of a sudden now, my needs around romance and attachment are highly ritualized, highly specific making it very difficult for me to navigate a real relationship. There is nothing real about having a relationship with somebody through the technology. Now, that isn't to say that there aren't ways that people connect, but when we see somebody lost in that, they lose the ability to have real relationships.