Well when a child turns 12, parents have to switch their parenting style. Before 12, I think parents should be benign monarchs. They should have rules, maybe some consequences. Firm, fair. The prince and the princesses, they do quite well than you. But you still need to be the king and queen. But at 12 1/2, you'll be in trouble if you stay with a monarchy. There will be a coup d'etat. Heads will roll - most likely yours. You've got to change. Why? Because teenagers don't see themselves as kids. They see themselves as adults. And they are slowly emerging adults. But they're no longer going to respond well to the kinds of ways you talked to them when they were kids. So I recommend parents talk to their kids as they would another adult. You can think of it as a foreign exchange student or a colleague or Aunt Bertha. And when they do, they should model taking them seriously. They should model appreciating their point of view as best they can. They should model concern for the teen's time and interests. And if they do, not only will they wind up probably with a little more cooperation but they will also find their teens treating them with more respect and consideration as well.