The root and solution to teenage rebellion

Jonathan Nadlman, MFT Psychotherapist, explains what leads teenagers to rebel against their parents, and offers a solution for parents on how they can create a positive impact out of that rebellion.
The Causes And Solutions To Teenage Rebellion
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The root and solution to teenage rebellion

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Your teenager is going to rebel. It's their job. Here is our job as parents; to help them to rebel with us and not against us. Show up and find out what the purpose of that rebellion is. They are looking for an initiation into the next stage of their lives. They need an adventure. Alison Armstrong talks about Camelot, and the idea that our boys and girls are moving from one state of development from being pages to being knights. For a while, it was okay to clean the swords and brush the horses. They want adventure. Our job is to give them that adventure. Sometimes that adventure is about making a decision around their bedtime or earning an allowance, or getting to go to a movie that we don't sit behind them in with their three friends. They have to have some story. They have to be able to sit around with their buddies or their girlfriends and tell a story about how they are being seen differently by their parents. That's what they are after.

Jonathan Nadlman, MFT Psychotherapist, explains what leads teenagers to rebel against their parents, and offers a solution for parents on how they can create a positive impact out of that rebellion.

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Jonathan Nadlman, MFT

Psychotherapist

Jonathan Nadlman, MFT, is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice since 1995, and has been counseling adults, couples, young people and their families for twenty-four years.  For the past seven years, he has been teaching Human Development and puberty as a rite-of-passage at many independent schools. Jonathan was the supervising therapist at Pacific Hills Middle and High School for six years. In addition, he is a facilitator of rites-of-passage workshops for adolescents teens and adults.  When he is not working, he can be found trying to change wood into art, learning his djembe, or in the garden with his wife and seven year old daughter. Or on occasion, if there's a swell, riding the California surf.

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Transcription: 
Your teenager is going to rebel. It's their job. Here is our job as parents; to help them to rebel with us and not against us. Show up and find out what the purpose of that rebellion is. They are looking for an initiation into the next stage of their lives. They need an adventure. Alison Armstrong talks about Camelot, and the idea that our boys and girls are moving from one state of development from being pages to being knights. For a while, it was okay to clean the swords and brush the horses. They want adventure. Our job is to give them that adventure. Sometimes that adventure is about making a decision around their bedtime or earning an allowance, or getting to go to a movie that we don't sit behind them in with their three friends. They have to have some story. They have to be able to sit around with their buddies or their girlfriends and tell a story about how they are being seen differently by their parents. That's what they are after.