If i had to pick one aspect of the Parent-Child relationship, it would be respect. But respect is not what most of us think. Most of us were raised by parents who said, "You will respect me or else" That's fear. Teenagers define respect as an upward looking admiration, a wanting to be like someone; to help their kid to get out of the madness that they live in. Respect is critical to getting a kid through the tough year. So we have actually investigated that in research. We asked kids, "Who do you not respect?" They described the 10 and the 0, on the parenting skill. The 10 is the Marine Corp drill sergeant, smacks them around, screams, yell. The 0 is the, let's say, fair parent. The one that sets up the bureau kegs, 'Do whatever you want to do, I don't care.' They respect the parents in the middle, the 4,5 or 6. The parents who walk the walk, not just talk the talk. Who have a set of values and do walk them. They respect parents who do not explode, who hold their temper. Or when we do lose our temper, we apologize. We don't act like it's okay for us to go crazy and the child not to. Kids respect the heck out of that. And respect turns out to be the greatest tool in your shed to help your kid get through the difficult years. And amazingly, most kids in America do respect and admire their parents. They don't tell you that but they tell me that. Trust it and use it.