Your child has been participating in a sport and has, for reasons unknown to you, expressed interest in throwing in the towel. Should you push your child into remaining in the sport, to see if it gets better? Or should you step back and let your teen make the choice to take a break?
First, says pediatrician Cara Natterson, consider the importance of committing to something for a period of time. Quitting before that time period is over can teach kids that they don’t have to follow through with commitments. Natterson recommends setting up guidelines before beginning the sport. Say, for instance, “This lasts for six weeks, and you will need to participate for six weeks and see it through.” If your teen wants to quit basketball in the middle of the season, request that he or she see the season through. Your teen needs to learn the importance of committing to something and then seeing it through.
Dr. Del Millers says once your child has expressed an interest in quitting the team, you need to determine whether he or she enjoys the sport and has hit a wall or if your child has started looking at the sport as a burden. As with any activity, your teen might simply be tired of the commitment or might be in need of a break from a busy schedule. In the case of hitting a wall, seeing it through a bit longer will help your child push through that hardship.
To understand their reasoning behind quitting, Rob Kodama suggests creating a dialogue with your child. Ask their number one reason for quitting. Also, ask what would replace that sport if it is no longer a part of their schedule. In some cases you might find your teen has grown tired of the sport and wants to try something else. In other cases, you might discover your teen is questioning whether he or she is good enough to continue to play. The reason behind the desire to quit the team will help you determine whether allowing for a break is a good idea or whether it is something that will be regretted in the future.
Millers suggests that before letting your child quit the team, ask him or her to remain committed a bit longer – another month, three more games, or until they finish off the season. This allows your teen enough time to understand whether the sport is something he or she wishes to pursue. The extended time might remind your teen how important the sport is to them, and it may give your teen a chance to work through the reasons he or she thought about quitting. However, if at the end of this time period your teen still wants to quit, it may be best to agree.
