- So we have two other distinguished guests joining us, Jerry Kartzinel, who has some great videos on Kidsinthehouse, he's a New York Times bestseller. Also we have Jacqueline, she's a full-time New Jersey housewife, reality TV personality, she's a star. But most importantly, she' s an autism advocate, public speaker, humanitarian, and you have three kids? - Yeah. - And a grandchild. - And a grandchild. - And you've been married for 20 years with your husband Chris. I'm so grateful to have you here. - Thank you! - To get the mom's perspective, which is always so important. - Aw, thank you. - So I'm gonna start by asking you, can you tell us a little bit about your journey and your son's journey? - So, my son Nicholas, my youngest of my three, he's about to be eight next month, he was diagnosed with autism right before he turned three years old. We noticed a regression in his milestones, there was a lot of signs and symptoms that we saw, so we had him evaluated. He was diagnosed with autism. So I jumped in, like a lot of other parents, not knowing a whole lot about it, just spent, I think, the first year just obsessively researching about it, diving into the community, trying to connect with doctors, and parents and people that had been through it, to help me and understand it and see what I could do as a parent to help my child. - An early diagnosis is one thing, I've learned, from articles - Yes, early intervention is key. - It's super important, right? - Yes, as soon as you start, you should really follow the child developmental checklist, the milestone checklist and really be on top of that. If you see anything, you have to immediately tell your pediatrician, just really stay on top of the milestones. Don't be in denial. You're better diving in and doing what needs to be done. And I mean you really. Now I'm losing my train of thought, sorry. - No, but you made some really good points, though. So early diagnosis can make a huge difference. - It's key, yes. And early intervention is key to really getting the best outcome for your child. So you really want to be on top of it and do what you need to do right away. - So Jerry, since you were here last time, in my studio, what has changed in diagnosis and treatments? - Well, I have the privilege of taking care of children from all around the world, and unfortunately I'm finding the diagnosis is still late in coming. The moms can come and present the concerns to the pediatrician, and I guess nobody wants to make that diagnosis of autism. They say, "Well, boys are a little slow talking," or "It's normal to lose milestones because now he's walking," and they come up with reasons why the child is doing okay, when really they have do have those symptoms of autism. And "Well, he can't possibly be autistic, 'cause he's affectionate, he's making eye contact with me," and that's just really not true because the parents are saying "but we're also having problems with sleep, we're having problems with constipation, he's got a lot of reflux, it seems like he's not tolerating the formula anymore," and it still is getting ignored by and large. But I think it's starting to turn around, where we're getting more and more earlier diagnoses. Instead of four and five, we're getting them around two or three. So it is improving. - Not to mention the wait to get in for the diagnosis sometimes takes a while to get into your developmental pediatrician, to get the diagnosis. We had to wait three months for that. - Why is it that it's more common with boys than girls? - Well they're still trying to work that out, the most recent hypothesis is that testosterone might make us a little bit more sensitive to neurological damage, and estrogen is a little bit more protective when it comes to toxins that might be available to us, whether it be from the uterus or from our environment. - And a lower immune system. I think boys have. Is that true? - Well again, they have to do their research in trying to figure it out. We're still trying to figure out where all this autism is coming from, and is it from older parents, is it from overweight moms, there's so many different variables, some new research is saying how about look at all the ultrasounds that the children are being exposed to every time they come in, they get ultrasounds. They've done a couple of studies about ultrasound exposure. And of course, there's always the V word: vaccines, that's always a concern too. - I was gonna say, I think we are still looking at environmental toxins, I think in the evidence that has come out, the vaccines, you know, there haven't been studies showing that vaccines cause autism. I know it's still a concern, but I think what we're seeing now with the evidence and what's coming out as a result of the worry about the vaccine is that people-- kids are getting measles and kids are getting pertussis, which can kill you. And so we're seeing that as the backlash. So I think I definitely agree with looking for environmental causes and looking at the gene and environment interaction. I think the vaccine question, we can lay to rest. - My theory is that if the immune system is low, and they're introduced to different toxins, whether it be the environment or maybe something in the vaccines, or maybe it's something they're putting on their body, their bodies, if their immune system is low and they can only handle so many toxins at once, and they get too many toxins at a time where their body can't handle it, that maybe that effects, maybe brings to the forefront you know, some of the signs and symptoms, perhaps. - Your point, the idea behind your point, is right on except what we're seeing is that it's a genetic predisposition. I think what you're referring to as the immune system, we're seeing scientifically as a genetic predisposition. So what has come out in the last few years is a new type of genetic testing called whole exome sequencing. So, we have a new way to look at the genetic information in a child, and we're able to find new mutations that we previously were not able to identify. So we now know that with some of these mutations a child may be more susceptible to other epigenetic changes, which are going to be environmental factors that are going to further influence the genetic expression of a abnormality or a mutation in their genetic information. So your idea is right on, I'm just gonna give you a new word to use. - I'm going to put on a parent who has a question for all of you. See if you can help this person out. Here we go. - Over a year ago, my son was diagnosed with autism, and it's been really challenging on my husband and I because he doesn't want to accept the diagnosis. He doesn't tell his family, I think he feels embarrassed. It's just not right, and I want him to love our son. I want him to embrace him for who he is. Is there anything I can do? I've just had it. - I was going to say this is a common dynamic that we do see with mothers and fathers. I see this a lot in my practice, fathers tend to be more in denial than mothers, and I really see it, I would say 98% of the time. - You know, my husband also in the beginning was in denial. "Oh, quit saying that, I was like that as a child," You know, he had a lot of excuses. He would get mad if I would bring up some of it. And then one day I sat him down, and I went onto an autism website where they had the signs and symptom checklist. And I wanted-- I just said, "Can you please answer the questions with me honestly?" And I believe we did the M-chats, and we also looked at the signs and symptoms. The M-chats, the Modified Checklist for Autism in Toddlers, it's about 23 or so questions that kind of, you know, when you answer the questions to let you know if there's need for further concern. We took it together, he answered the questions, I did a few demonstrations with our son. Rolled the ball, I called his name, there were certain things I was trying to show him, you know, he's not answering to his name, he's not following a one step direction, there was things he was doing, he lost his speech. So I think that's when it finally clicked for him, and he was like "Wow, yeah. I think there is a need for concern here." They also have this idea in their head of, a vision of what they want their child to be. Either it's something that they enjoyed as a child that they want their child to enjoy, or a dream, a passion of theirs that they want their child to fill out. And really, realistically, typical kids don't always follow what you want them to do. "Oh I want my son to be into football, and I want him to be this football star," and maybe he's into chess, or something totally different than you would expect your typical child. Early diagnosis, early detection, early intervention, they're key to bringing out the best child your child can be. And I know you want that, so let's work on this together. Let's get through this together and just don't give up, and it's not the journey you expected, but you know what? It is just as wonderful, you're gonna celebrate so many, actually more, little joys and accomplishments through their journey. - Well thank you for that hard-earned wisdom that you shared and I'm sure that that's super helpful for that mom out there. I know you're so busy, for taking time out of your busy schedule to share your hard-earned wisdom with other parents. Really, really appreciate having you here today. - No problem. - Do you have a blog or something, that people can read more, for your advice? - Well, I have an outdated website right now, but there's a ton of information on there regarding our journey and contacts and resources that I've used. I've kinda pulled them all and put them together on jacquelinelaurita.com , in the autism awareness section, in the autism section, so there's a lot of links to different websites and resources and things like that there that people can find. - Well thank you, and thank you for being such an advocate and being out there for helping other moms. - Thank you, I think all the moms are like that. You know, you learn something, you want to pass it on to someone else and that's how it works in the community, and it's an amazing community because everyone wants to help each other. We learn from each other, so, my pleasure.