Explaining unique families through storytelling

Family Therapist Kim Bergman, PhD, explains how storytelling can be a great tool for parents when talking to their kids about your family's unique journey of how they became pregnant
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Explaining unique families through storytelling

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So what I say to clients and parents who want to know how to talk to their kids about this whole journey, and you're going to start out age-appropriate from the very beginning, before they can even talk, and start telling them about how they were created. But essentially this is the story: all of us on this planet came from four things – we all have the same four ingredients: an egg, a sperm, a womb and a home. And the parents are the only ingredient in there that's home – those are the parents. The other three, those can be the same people or entirely different people, and whether you're adopted or you came from an egg donor or sperm donor or surrogate, you're going to have that in common with everybody. And to explain to children – your children and to explain to parents to help them understand it – we're all the same, it just depends on who served in those different roles. And it's very important that children are clear who served in those roles and what those roles are.

Family Therapist Kim Bergman, PhD, explains how storytelling can be a great tool for parents when talking to their kids about your family's unique journey of how they became pregnant

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Kim Bergman, PhD

Family Therapist

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 22 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for the last two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for Intended Parents, Surrogates and Donors. She is the co-owner of Fertility Counseling Services and Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society of Reproductive Medicine, the American Fertility Association, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published "Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood" (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 28 years and their two teenage daughters. 

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Transcription: 
So what I say to clients and parents who want to know how to talk to their kids about this whole journey, and you're going to start out age-appropriate from the very beginning, before they can even talk, and start telling them about how they were created. But essentially this is the story: all of us on this planet came from four things – we all have the same four ingredients: an egg, a sperm, a womb and a home. And the parents are the only ingredient in there that's home – those are the parents. The other three, those can be the same people or entirely different people, and whether you're adopted or you came from an egg donor or sperm donor or surrogate, you're going to have that in common with everybody. And to explain to children – your children and to explain to parents to help them understand it – we're all the same, it just depends on who served in those different roles. And it's very important that children are clear who served in those roles and what those roles are.