When two kids are fighting, when they're arguing, it's really important that they learn from a really smart parent, smart-hearted parent, how to resolve conflict. We need to help them learn how to get along so not only will they get along with each other, but they'll get along with everybody else in the larger world. The sibling relationship is really like a laboratory for how to get along with other people, and teaching conflict resolution is vital. Conflict resolution is really about, you have needs, I have needs, our needs are competing, what do we do?

Sibling Fighting Solutions

You don't teach them conflict resolution when they're in the middle of a conflict; that's when everybody's emotions are running high and they flip their lid. You teach them conflict resolution as if it's a game, or a fun activity, at a time where the kids are actually either getting along, or everything is just copacetic. You tell the children, let's pretend that you're fighting, let's pretend that you're fighting over, oh, I don't know, there's one Yu-Gi-Oh! card and you're fighting over it. How do you think we could work this out? And so, through practice, you help them work it out. You narrate what one kid feels, you narrate what the other kid feels, and then you throw out, "Wow, we have two children and only one card. What are we gonna do?" And then, 'cause it's a game and kids wanna win, they try to figure out the most creative solutions. And one of the things they could say is, "Let's take turns, or I can have it first, or you can have it first," or something even more creative like "Let's play store, and you'll be the salesman and I'll be the customer and I'll buy the Yu-Gi-Oh! card." This is the way you teach conflict resolution.