Parents often wonder, how do I know of my relationship is strong enough? If your child is generally cooperative, you are in good shape. If your child is often defiant, that is not a discipline problem, that's a relationship problem. And your relationship with your child needs some attention. So start on working on connecting and making sure you have at least 5 positive interactions for every correcting interaction you have with your child. And when do you seek professional help? When you realized you are getting triggered. When you could no longer stay calm, you can't help your child, there is no shame in seeking help and support. All parents need support sometimes, the shame would be in going over the deep end. Yelling at your child, saying things you don't in-fact mean, indulging in your own anger because you don't know how to control it, that's when you seek professional help. When you need support for your emotions.