Examples of reflective communication

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Examples of reflective communication

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A great example of reflective communication would be, for example, when a child wants a cookie, you say no and then they start having a tantrum. Instead of just giving them a lot of different reasons why they can’t have a cookie at 4 o’clock before dinner and that it’s not good for nutrition, and it might interfere with their appetite, giving them a lot of reasons, you would meet them with a reflection. And reflection might look like or sound like, “You really want a cookie? You want it so bad? You’re stomping your feet you want it so bad?” And the center piece – the sandwich part – comes wit the explanation that you can have one later. And then the child has to come back to equilibrium. Instead of just saying, “No, no, no,” you’re actually meeting them with the reflection. And then the rule or the thing you want them to know is a follow-up; it’s not the first thing you say. It’s sort of softened by the reflection, or the mirror that comes in at the beginning.

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Dana Entin, RN, MN, PNP

Parent Educator

Dana is a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner who has been teaching parenting classes for the past 10 years. She understands that all families are unique, but believes that children thrive with healthy values, discipline, respect, and an environment where parents understand normal development and are open and excited about their role as a parent. Dana is a true advocate for children and parents alike. Today’s parents are inundated with blogs, books and boatloads of people telling them what to do.  Dana uses her advanced practice nursing background to help parents better understand research and information pertaining to parenting.

Dana has written many articles, lectures, and does private and small group consultations. She has completed a parent handbook on discipline and is currently working on a new book. 

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Transcription: 
A great example of reflective communication would be, for example, when a child wants a cookie, you say no and then they start having a tantrum. Instead of just giving them a lot of different reasons why they can’t have a cookie at 4 o’clock before dinner and that it’s not good for nutrition, and it might interfere with their appetite, giving them a lot of reasons, you would meet them with a reflection. And reflection might look like or sound like, “You really want a cookie? You want it so bad? You’re stomping your feet you want it so bad?” And the center piece – the sandwich part – comes wit the explanation that you can have one later. And then the child has to come back to equilibrium. Instead of just saying, “No, no, no,” you’re actually meeting them with the reflection. And then the rule or the thing you want them to know is a follow-up; it’s not the first thing you say. It’s sort of softened by the reflection, or the mirror that comes in at the beginning.