Finding the spiritual strength not to repeat your parents' mistakes

Pastor Jimmy Bartz discusses how parents can manage their own painful pasts to become better parents
Parenting and Family Advice | Finding the spiritual strength not to repeat your parents' mistakes
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Finding the spiritual strength not to repeat your parents' mistakes

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People ask me the question from time to time, folks who have had a bad experience in the past with their parents, how not to repeat that experience as parents. And what I oftentimes see is that people make more drastic or dramatic adjustments than are necessary. For example, people may have dealt with alcoholic parents, and they find that they want to cultivate a family that has utter sobriety. And so they never have any involvement with alcohol in the household or they never engage with people who drink casually but may not have any problems with that. So when we're looking at those challenges that we faced with our parents as parents ourselves, rather than just drastically turning the pendulum to the other side, or turning the coin over and looking at the other side of the coin, what we first need to do is just come to grips with our own healing. So rather than making this an issue of parenting our children, we make it an issue of healing our own lives so we can more competently parent out of our own true deep voice. Another thing that's very important for parents to do is to have a clear understanding of their own personal history, to look back into their lives and see those high points and low points, and have a deep understanding of them, a real conscious understanding of them, so we're not just either making those same mistakes or just making the opposite mistakes. But finding a truer, more authentic, healed voice as a parent.

Pastor Jimmy Bartz discusses how parents can manage their own painful pasts to become better parents

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Jimmy Bartz

Priest

Jimmy serves as rector of St. John’s Episcopal Church in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Prior to coming to Jackson, he was the founder and priest at Thad’s, an emergent Episcopal Church in the Santa Monica, California, in the Diocese of Los Angeles. He has also served as the Campus Missioner at the University of Texas in Austin, at All Saints’ in Austin, Texas, and All Saints’ Parish in Beverly Hills, California. He is a graduate the University of Texas at Austin and Virginia Theological Seminary. Presently, he serves as the Chair of the Board of the Episcopal Evangelism Society, and in years past has worked with Red Bull High Performance teaching athletes spiritual disciplines, with Naval Special Warfare working to create systems for character development within special operations teams, and was a speaker at TEDx, Venice Beach.
Married to Cindy and dad to Jas and Jade, the Bartz family loves to spend time outside mountaineering, skiing, fly-fishing, hunting and surfing.  Jimmy is currently writing a book on the spirituality of risk.

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