Leana Greene:       Hi, this is Leana live from Kids in the House. Today we're talking about a very, very interesting topic: sex and relationships after having kids. I have with me Sherry, one of the most famous obstetricians here in LA. She has all the celebrities. She just came out with a book, "She-Ology: The Definitive Guide to Women's Intimate Health." Really what it is about is everything you need to know about your vagina, right?

Sheryl A. Ross:     Yes, in a lot of ways, and the most common, most sensitive questions about women's health, intimate health and the vagina.

Leana Greene:       It's a great book.

Sheryl A. Ross:     Thank you.

Leana Greene:       We are gonna go right into it and see if it can help some parents.

Sheryl A. Ross:     Absolutely.

Leana Greene:       We have a parent with a question for Sherry.

Speaker 3:          My husband says it feels different to have sex with me after the baby. I'm wondering. Are Kegels enough? Can you have surgery to fix it? If so, what does it cost? Is it safe if I want to have another baby?

Leana Greene:       Thank you so much for asking that very personal question. Sherry, what do you say about that?

Sheryl A. Ross:     Well, I would first wonder how far post-partum she is because certainly it does feel different, and depending how many babies she's had. The vagina tends to be much dryer if you're breastfeeding and a little bit looser. Those are true conditions that we see after having a baby, but I do think the Kegels are really important to do. It helps strengthen the pelvic floor and it feels great with sex. Surgery can be discussed, but it really depends, again, how many kids you've had, what other symptoms you have, and also give it time. The vagina has a great way of repairing itself.

Leana Greene:       How common is it that people have surgery?

Sheryl A. Ross:     You know, it's not that common, Leana.

Leana Greene:       It's not common?

Sheryl A. Ross:     I mean, really, no. If you've had four babies and there's a lot of looseness and the vagina feels like you have a ball falling out of it, then that's one thing. But for the most part, give it some time. The vagina's very resilient. It will heal on its own. Time and patience and some KY, they tend to work great.

Leana Greene:       We have one more question for you, too.

Sheryl A. Ross:     Okay.

Leana Greene:       Here we go.

Speaker 4:          During sex, how come it hurts so much? How long will it take for it not to hurt anymore?

Leana Greene:       Again, thank you. It's a sensitive topic. Thank you for coming on and asking that. Dr. Sherry, what do you say?

Sheryl A. Ross:     Yeah, honestly, it takes about nine months after you've had a baby for the vagina to come back to its normal self. Sometimes, again, if you're breastfeeding you're gonna have really low estrogen. It makes the tissue dry and painful and often you need to just know that it's gonna need a little extra KY and certain positions may be more painful, certainly the ones with deeper penetration. Just be aware all those things are normal and give your body about nine months to bounce back.

Leana Greene:       But what if you have an episiotomy? How does that influence the whole thing?

Sheryl A. Ross:     Well, again, the episiotomy takes about six weeks to heal. But really it does take a little bit longer because you sometimes feel the pain at the at bottom 6:00 position of the vagina where the scar is. Nine months, I say give that as much time as you need for all the healing to take place. Again, if you're breastfeeding know that you have low estrogen. Just patience, time, and KY.

Leana Greene:       But if it hurts, should you still do it? Is it still okay to do it?

Sheryl A. Ross:     It depends where the pain is. Sometimes if it's positional pain, I would avoid positions that have deep penetration, you on top or doggie style from behind. Those are gonna be more uncomfortable. But there are positions, missionary tends to be a little bit easier for a woman. If it's painful, the other question is, are you adequately lubricated? Be aware of that. Make sure your baby is not in the same room with you so you don't have any distractions so you can enjoy the moment.

Leana Greene:       We are gonna go to the next parent.

Speaker 5:          My husband and I had our first baby about six months ago, and it's a hard thing to talk about. But we haven't had sex in a while. I'm just self-conscious about my body from being overweight and the stretch marks. I also feel awkward sharing my body with my husband because I'm breastfeeding and I'm just really trying to figure out how to get past that where I can feel confident in myself again and where I don't feel awkward sharing my body with him and where I can feel sexy again and where he looks at me the same. If you could just give me advice on what to do, how to get past that.

Sheryl A. Ross:     It's so important to communicate with your partner. Be honest. Just know that the two of you are building this beautiful family together. Do it together and look beyond the superficial issues related to how you appear. But just go back to the beginning of basics and why you're together and this great little being you've just created. I think time and patience and being open communication-wise is so important.

Speaker 6:          How do you keep the spark alive after being married for so long?

Sheryl A. Ross:     Couples really have to make each other a priority and always think of the little things, the kiss goodbye, holding hands, and embracing those enjoyable, loving moments. You have to keep pushing it and making it visible with your partner all the time. The healthiest relationships are those that make sex and make new changes in the bedroom.

Leana Greene:       What are women most concerned about sharing?

Sheryl A. Ross:     There's a lot of questions they have about their vagina, but the most recent that I hear a lot is how their vaginas compare to other women's vaginas. They're seeing a lot of porn now through the Internet and social media, and now we're doing what men have been doing for decades. They're comparing themselves and they want to know what's normal.

Leana Greene:       How do you know that you're normal? How do you feel good about yourself?

Sheryl A. Ross:     Yeah, it's such a great question. What I like to do is I pull out the mirror and I go through their anatomy and I reassure them a lot about what's normal. The truth is most vaginas are very normal. There are some that cause problems with sex or there are problems with spinning and cycling. There can be pain. You can have oversized labia. They do exist, but it's not that common. It's, one, reassuring and educating them that their vaginas, for the most part, are normal.

Leana Greene:       Go online right now and win Sherry's book. Thank you so much for being here today with me.

Sheryl A. Ross:     Thanks for having me. It's always fun.

Leana Greene:       Always fun.

Sheryl A. Ross:     Yeah.

Leana Greene:       You have some other great videos on Kids in the House, too, with that.

Sheryl A. Ross:     I do. Always love being here.

Leana Greene:       Go online right now and win Sherry's book. Thank you so much for being here today with me.

Sheryl A. Ross:     Thanks for having me. It's always fun.

Leana Greene:       Always fun.

Sheryl A. Ross:     Yeah.

Leana Greene:       You have some other great videos on Kids in the House, too, with that.

Sheryl A. Ross:     I do. Always love being here.