Creating a successful long term marriage

Transcription:

I had this crazy epiphany about ten years into my marriage that the rules of comedy that I used to teach at UCLA that I used to teach to my students are actually applicable to long-term marriage because my children were old enough to finally not accidentally kill themselves, and I looked at my husband and I remembered that I said, "Til death do us part," and I thought, "Wow, that could be a really long time, and some days this feels really hard, like stand-up comedy is really hard." So I looked at my lessons that I taught my students, and it turns out they are applicable. And the three most important points I would say, number one, show up. I always tell comics, "You gotta show up. You can't even do comedy if you don't show up." And that is true. You don't have a marriage if you don't show up to it. So that's number one. Number two, listening. Really important. Always want to listen to your audience, be in the room with your audience, and be present. Absolutely true of your spouse. You want to be in the room with them. Put down the iPhone, put down something once a day, at least, and just listen. And then the third most valuable action you can take for your long-term relationship with a human being is timing. Timing is really important, so I don't come to my husband, for instance, and talk about property taxes while he's watching Walking Dead. That's not nice. I'm not going to get his attention. And furthermore, he knows don't talk to me about getting some action when The Good Wife is on because I want to watch The Good Wife in peace. So, show up, listen, timing.

Video Categories: ALL PARENTS, Partnerships and Marriage, Building Strong Partnerships

Dani Klein Modisett, Mom & Producer, shares advice for couples on how to create a successful long-term marriage with your partner

Transcript

Expert Bio

Dani Klein Modisett

Mom & Producer

Dani Klein Modisett is the creator/producer/director of the shows “Afterbirth…stories you won’t read in Parents magazine,” and “Not What I Signed Up For.” These are live storytelling shows where acclaimed actors and writers perform original, funny stories about how marriage and parenting challenges them in unexpected ways. The NY Post raved about Afterbirth… calling it,"the Vagina Monologues for the stroller set.” After playing to sold out audiences for five years in Los Angeles and NYC and also making stops in Boston and San Francisco, an anthology of stories from Afterbirth was published as a book by St. Martin’s Press. Dani is a contributor to Huffington Post, Parents Magazine, and the LA Times. Before having children, Dani worked as a comic, performing across the country and participating in the HBO Aspen Comedy Festival with a solo show she wrote called “The Move.” She also taught Stand-up comedy at UCLA and now teaches a workshop at I O West called “Writing For Performance.” Afterbirth is in production as a web series for the launch of Disney’s website for Mom’s, “Not What I Signed Up For” is being developed as a pilot for television with Jerry Weintraub’s company. Dani is a graduate of Dartmouth College and lives in Los Angeles with her husband and two sons.