So what are some of the problems that occurs in a family system with the kids when one of the parents is too involved or immeshed with their parent? When there aren't clean lines between generations, in other words mom, you know, and dad I'm glad you're there. I love you. I want to see you, but I can't have you running my marriage. When that line isn't there, there is a greater risk that, that son, let's say it is a son who has been over involved with his mother taking care of her because she's angry with her husband, his father, he might be more inclined because now he's going to have trouble with his wife, more inclined to turn to his daughter to comfort him, to listen to him. There's a greater likelihood that within that next family system, we have the next generation of boundaries where the parent turns to the child or maybe the wife who's involved with the man who's immeshed with the mother, maybe she turns to the son. I can't get your father to pay attention to me but I can get you to pay attention to me. So once there is a crossover between generations, it often spills into the next generation in which children are being used to fulfill the needs of a parent that really isn't their job to do and the parent is always responsible for the boundary. The child is not responsible for the boundary. Many kids are more than willing to come and come to your parents aid and there's nothing wrong with that, right? I mean, it's nice that kids, we want our children to be sensitive. We want our kids to be tuned in, right? Sometimes if they aren't, that becomes its own problem, but when the parent sort of hijacks that and uses it for their own self centered or selfish needs chronically, I don't mean one time, or occasionally, or we all fall into the trap of geez, you know, my son or daughter is paying attention to me, that feels really good. There's nothing wrong with that, but when that occurs chronically, it binds the child to the parent inappropriately through guilt and demands for loyalty.