Twins and alone time

Joan Friedman, PhD Psychologist & Twin Expert, shares her most important advice for parents of twins on the importance that parents spend alone time with each twin individually
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Twins and alone time

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The most important advice for parents of twins, is to make sure that you spend alone time with each twin. Sometimes parents are reluctant to see this as important because they are fearful that having the twins being separated will diminish the twinship, but in actuality, the opposite occurs. It actually strengthens it. Alone time is something that is very easy to do. You don't have to do anything special. What you are doing that is special is committing and deciding to be alone with each child. The mom and dad should take turns with each of the children. If there is no help in the home, the mom can read to one child while the other one is napping. On the weekends when dad is home, mom can take one child to the park and dad can take the other child to do errands. It is really a wonderful gift that you give to yourself and your children in terms of promoting very healthy attachment. People who do it end up saying it was the best thing they've ever done and they were sorry they hadn't done it sooner.

Joan Friedman, PhD Psychologist & Twin Expert, shares her most important advice for parents of twins on the importance that parents spend alone time with each twin individually

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Joan Friedman, PhD

Psychologist & Twin Expert

Dr. Joan A. Friedman is a prominent and well-respected twin expert who shares her passionate views and insights about twins and their emotional needs with twins and their families throughout the world. The fact that she is an identical twin and the mother of five, including fraternal twin sons, makes her ideally suited to this task. Her commitment to twin research and her treatment of twins of all ages demonstrate the breadth and depth of her skills and experience. She conducts ongoing groups for parents of twins and provides consultation on twin related matters such as school placements, developmental discrepancies, and behavioral issues.

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Transcription: 
The most important advice for parents of twins, is to make sure that you spend alone time with each twin. Sometimes parents are reluctant to see this as important because they are fearful that having the twins being separated will diminish the twinship, but in actuality, the opposite occurs. It actually strengthens it. Alone time is something that is very easy to do. You don't have to do anything special. What you are doing that is special is committing and deciding to be alone with each child. The mom and dad should take turns with each of the children. If there is no help in the home, the mom can read to one child while the other one is napping. On the weekends when dad is home, mom can take one child to the park and dad can take the other child to do errands. It is really a wonderful gift that you give to yourself and your children in terms of promoting very healthy attachment. People who do it end up saying it was the best thing they've ever done and they were sorry they hadn't done it sooner.