Overcoming the challenges of same-sex parenting

Kim Bergman, PhD Family Therapist, shares advice for same-sex couples on how to overcome the common challenges of parenting as a same-sex couple
Same-Sex Parenting | Overcoming Challenges Of Same-Sex Parenting
KidsInTheHouse the Ultimate Parenting Resource
Kids in the House Tour

Overcoming the challenges of same-sex parenting

Comment
78
Like
78
Transcription: 
Gay men and lesbians face a unique set of challenges when they become parents, all of which are around how other people treat them, none of which are intrinsic to them being parents. We live in a heterosexist world and people don't expect two men or two women, or one man or one woman, to have a child. There are a lot of challenges that we face that are foisted on us. Dealing with people's homophobia, or ignorance, or stupid things they say. For example, in my family when my second child was born, my mother-in-law said, "Now you each have one." A really stupid comment, and she treated the two kids differently. We said to her, "You either have two grandchildren or you have none." She chose two, but if she had chosen none, we would have followed through with that. Dealing with family, ignorance, and society, those are the unique challenges. There are a lot of resources for gay and lesbian parents, but all of them have to do with how we are treated by other people and by society.

Kim Bergman, PhD Family Therapist, shares advice for same-sex couples on how to overcome the common challenges of parenting as a same-sex couple

Related Videos

Transcript

Expert Bio

More from Expert

Kim Bergman, PhD

Family Therapist

Kim Bergman, PhD, a licensed psychologist of 22 years, has specialized in the area of gay and lesbian parenting, parenting by choice and third party assisted reproduction for the last two decades. Dr. Bergman has created a comprehensive psychological screening, support and monitoring process for Intended Parents, Surrogates and Donors. She is the co-owner of Fertility Counseling Services and Growing Generations and is a member of the American Society of Reproductive Medicine, the American Fertility Association, the American Psychological Association, the Los Angeles County Psychological Association, the Lesbian and Gay Psychotherapy Association, and the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association. She is on the national board of the Family Equality Council. Dr. Bergman writes, teaches and speaks extensively on parenting by choice. Along with co-authors, she published "Gay Men Who Become Fathers via Surrogacy: The Transition to Parenthood" (Journal of GLBT Family Studies, April 2010). Dr. Bergman created her own family using third party assisted reproduction and she lives with her wife of 28 years and their two teenage daughters. 

More Parenting Videos from Kim Bergman, PhD >
Enter your email to
download & subscribe
to our newsletter
  Listen or Watch
Must See First Year Videos
Three important rules about your baby's first foods
First year milestones
Postnatal depression and loneliness advice
Baby losing interest in nursing
The importance of spending quality time during early childhood
Narrating an infant's environment
Research based benefits of co-sleeping
Bonding versus attachment
Bonding with your baby after a less-than-perfect birth
Preventing postpartum depression
Play All 34 Videos
Featured Experts: Alan Greene, MD, Lawrence Kagan, MD, Barbara Olinger, MSW
More Playlists >
Transcription: 
Gay men and lesbians face a unique set of challenges when they become parents, all of which are around how other people treat them, none of which are intrinsic to them being parents. We live in a heterosexist world and people don't expect two men or two women, or one man or one woman, to have a child. There are a lot of challenges that we face that are foisted on us. Dealing with people's homophobia, or ignorance, or stupid things they say. For example, in my family when my second child was born, my mother-in-law said, "Now you each have one." A really stupid comment, and she treated the two kids differently. We said to her, "You either have two grandchildren or you have none." She chose two, but if she had chosen none, we would have followed through with that. Dealing with family, ignorance, and society, those are the unique challenges. There are a lot of resources for gay and lesbian parents, but all of them have to do with how we are treated by other people and by society.