Conflicts between parents and grandparents

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Conflicts between parents and grandparents

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The way that I would handle grand-parenting and parents and the conflicts that sometimes can arise, is to really recognize that you've changed your role. If you are a grandparent now and you are in conflict with your child about their parenting, you have one relationship with that child. They have another relationship with that child. For me, I have learned to think a little bit differently, in terms of being very anxious to give people my wisdom and my advice especially when it comes to my grandchildren. I have learned to re-frame what I say to my children. And not give them unsolicited advice. And if they are explaining an issue or problem with their child and they do come to me for that advice, to be thinking about what that means, because I am no longer their parent. And it is not my job to parent their child. It is my job to be a support to my grandchild and to my child. And I am not their parent any more.

Watch Video: Conflicts between parents and grandparents by Shannon Crossbear, ...

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Shannon Crossbear

Native American Elder

Shannon CrossBear is a beautiful, powerful, spiritual Ojibwe and Irish woman. Shannon is an enrolled member of Fort William First Nation of the Lake Superior Ojibwe, which is located in Ontario, Canada.  She has lived on the shores of Lake Superior for the majority of her life and currently resides within the boundaries of the United States in Hovland, Minnesota. Wabagoness, her given name in Ojibwemoin, is a daughter, sister, mother and grandmother. Shannon has been a story teller for an audience of relatives and friends for many years.  As a columnist for the Cook Country News Herald she wrote over 200 hundred article under the heading Mino- Biimadizawin (the good path/life).Her purpose is to demonstrate and promote gentle healing. She expresses her commitment to healing through her business Strongheart Resource Development. Conditions within Ms. CrossBear’s family of origin and community cement her commitment to improving conditions for children, their families and communities.

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Transcription: 
The way that I would handle grand-parenting and parents and the conflicts that sometimes can arise, is to really recognize that you've changed your role. If you are a grandparent now and you are in conflict with your child about their parenting, you have one relationship with that child. They have another relationship with that child. For me, I have learned to think a little bit differently, in terms of being very anxious to give people my wisdom and my advice especially when it comes to my grandchildren. I have learned to re-frame what I say to my children. And not give them unsolicited advice. And if they are explaining an issue or problem with their child and they do come to me for that advice, to be thinking about what that means, because I am no longer their parent. And it is not my job to parent their child. It is my job to be a support to my grandchild and to my child. And I am not their parent any more.