How to help the children when parents divorce

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Transcription:

One of the most challenging things that I work with in my private practice is helping families who are going through divorce and children often feel torn in the middle between two parents, feeling that they have to align themselves with one or the other and I try to help the parents to understand this by talking to them about the fact that children have both real external relationship with each parent and also that they have in an internal relationship that they’ve internalized both their mother and their father and asking them to choose is really like asking them to choose between two parts of themselves. So, if parents can understand this no matter what feelings they may have towards their acts, it can help them to avoid putting the child in the middle and rather to try and communicate that no matter what we understand that both your mother and your father are important to you and we’re going to do everything that we can to be there for you and maintain close loving relationships even though we’ve decided that we can't be together as a married couple.

Video Categories: ALL PARENTS, Divorce, Emotional Support for Children

John Grienenberger, PhD Family Psychologist, shares advice for parents going through a divorce of how they can help their children get through the challenging time for them

Transcript

Expert Bio

John Grienenberger, PhD

Family Psychologist

John Grienenberger, PhD, is a psychologist, attachment researcher, and Co-Executive Director of the non-profit Center for Reflective Communities in Los Angeles. He is also a Founder, Executive Director and Clinical Director of Community West, a psychological treatment center for adolescents and young adults in Los Angeles. He has extensive experience in family work, and has trained hundreds of therapists in his mentalization-based approach to working with families. He has authored numerous papers, presentations, and training programs in the areas of psychotherapy, attachment, mentalization, and parenting, and has conducted trainings and presentations both nationally and internationally. He has a part-time private practice in West Los Angeles conducting psychological and psychoeducational testing as well as providing psychotherapy to children, adults, families, and couples. Along with spending time with his children, John also enjoys backpacking, snowboarding, hiking, and mountain biking.