You have to have that horrible talk with your children. The one where you tell them what they fear most, that you're getting a divorce. So what do you say, and how do you say it? The first thing is you have to remind them that a family is one person who unconditionally loves them, so while your family may look different, you're still a family and they're very loved. The second, don't have this talk when you're ready to kill your spouse. Have this talk when you can actually find the love that you had for your spouse so that you can still show your children that even in divorce there are still loving parts of people. Third, they're going to be angry and upset, and you're not going to be able to fix it in that moment. So be able to tolerate their discomfort and their sadness. You always say, "We," no matter how much the family changes