Discussing divorce with young children

Dan Pearce, Blogger and Single Dad, explains how explaining divorce to young kids can be tough and offers tips on how to help explain it to your young kids in the best way possible
Divorce And Children | Discussing Divorce With Young Kids
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Discussing divorce with young children

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Explaining divorce to a young child is tricky. Adults tend to think more abstractly, where kids tend to think more in black and white. And adults tend to kind of overanalyze things. What´s important when you are explaining divorce to a child is that they understand three things. One, that they are going to be okay. Two, that mom and dad are going to be okay. And three, they need to know whose fault it is. So obviously it is never the kid´s fault. That´s probably the number one rule of explaining divorce to your kids. They also need to know that they are going to be okay, that mom and dad are going to tuck them in at night, that no matter whose house they are at their basic needs are going to be met and they will still have all of the support that children need. And three, they need to know that as a result of this divorice, mom and dad are going to be okay. They are both going to be happier. They are both going to be more healthy and they are both going to have better lives and ultimately be better parents because of the divorce. If parents can remember to address these three things and keep it fairly simple, explaining divorce to children will be a much simpler process.

Dan Pearce, Blogger and Single Dad, explains how explaining divorce to young kids can be tough and offers tips on how to help explain it to your young kids in the best way possible

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Dan Pearce

Blogger & Single Dad

Dan Pearce is the divorced father of four year old Noah, who came to him through adoption. Dan is also the author of The Real Dad Rules and Single Dad Laughing: The Complete Second Year, and his blog, Single Dad Laughing. When he started Single Dad Laughing in the summer of 2010, his then-wife had left his life almost as quickly as she’d come into it, and he was feeling about as valuable as a dollar-store sweater (and unraveling just as quickly). He started the blog because writing has always had the power to heal him in his darkest of moments. His goal is to spread worthwhile ways of looking at things. Before becoming a writer, Dan worked in retail, in the corporate world, and as an animal artist.

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Transcription: 
Explaining divorce to a young child is tricky. Adults tend to think more abstractly, where kids tend to think more in black and white. And adults tend to kind of overanalyze things. What´s important when you are explaining divorce to a child is that they understand three things. One, that they are going to be okay. Two, that mom and dad are going to be okay. And three, they need to know whose fault it is. So obviously it is never the kid´s fault. That´s probably the number one rule of explaining divorce to your kids. They also need to know that they are going to be okay, that mom and dad are going to tuck them in at night, that no matter whose house they are at their basic needs are going to be met and they will still have all of the support that children need. And three, they need to know that as a result of this divorice, mom and dad are going to be okay. They are both going to be happier. They are both going to be more healthy and they are both going to have better lives and ultimately be better parents because of the divorce. If parents can remember to address these three things and keep it fairly simple, explaining divorce to children will be a much simpler process.