In getting connected with the birth mother there are a couple of stages that go into the process. Initially, I'll typically hear from the birth mom; get some background information about her; pass that information on to the adopting parents; get forms filled out for her medical releases; and then at that poi nt talk to her doctor. If the clients want to they can talk to the birth mother; they can meet the birth mother; they can make the decision if she's the right birth mom for them, just like she's making the decision as to whether they're the right family for her and her child. I like to tell my clients that it's a learning process. You can learn enough to know you don't want to proceed. You don't have to go forward with the process even if you've heard about a birth mom, even if you've met her, even if you've paid her a bit of support. It's really importnat to recognize that you're not obligated to proceed if something comes up that's wrong. It's a learning process.